Monday, November 19, 2012
Life this year has been a total mess. Failed in every single aspect of my life.. Born failure maybe?
The year flew past just like that, without myself realizing it. I don't remembering time passing this quickly, but well it did. If only I spent my time more wisely than I did.. I wouldn't be retained. I mean, I expected it from the start of the year; the lack of motivation to get work done, the self-confidence to complete the JC course.. I lacked everything that's needed. I was on this path of retaining from the very start of the year. Together with those little problems happening concurrently and the lack of motivation to even study for promos.. The end point was clear, it was obvious where I was heading... Having mentally prepared to face the results and having to face the actual thing felt so different.. Broke down before the results were even being told. What came after weren't comforting too. Looking at people who don't usually study and born smart went through while I stood there looking at the word "retained" on the results slip. Life is fair, really. Whatever it if, I will really miss 115.. Not able to promote with the rest is the only reason to why I regretted my actions throughout the year.
This whole incident really got me thinking about life.. Finding myself in the midst of it all. I am actually thankful, at least I found myself in this mess..
Need to pick myself up from the fall and move on.. Next year is never gonna be easy..
2:20:00 AM <3
